A couple weekends ago I went to an art pop-up gallery thing in the Mission with the theme “Missed Connections.” You know that section of Craigslist that says missed connections? It ranges from cute to creepy to NSFW. It’s like if you have a connection with someone on the bus, but don’t catch their name or contact info and wanna meet up again and then post on Craigslist.
So this art gallery was inspired by Missed Connections posts. Here are my favorites. Excuse the lousy photography, I was in a hurry and it was crowded, haha. The romantic in me impulsively bought a print that I’ll show here!
“We kissed at midnight, then you ran away You- 5’8 scruffy, glasses, wearing a blue hoodie outside the Vid and I asked you for a lighter. You lit my cigarette and we talked about our wishes for the new year. We heard the countdown starting and decided to stay outside. I started to cry and you kissed me, and then we started to make out. After a minute I felt something warm and realized that you pissed yourself. I pushed you away and that’s when you ran but I wish you had stayed. You peed on me but it’s OK! I just want to know who you are! Please reply and when you do tell me why I started crying so I know it’s you–if you remember.”
MAN, WHAT A STORY.
Excuse this long and very descriptive and imaginative Missed Connection blurb…
“Did you leave a prosthetic leg on the bus this morning? Portland. I found a prosthetic leg wearing a Lucchese brand cowboy boot on the bus this morning. I’m not sure what brand the leg, but it’s only the shin and foot portion and it’s not mechanical looking. Rather, it looks semi-real–almost like it could be from a giant plastic doll or something. I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and tried the boot on. Magnificent! At first I wondered why a prosthetic leg user would have purchased such a comfy boot. Then I figured that you probably have another leg and foot that actually worked they probably really appreciate the cushion and arch support provided by the Lucchese boots. I really hope I can meet you and ask you more about your conditions. I wonder what Koreans would say about you if you went in for a pedicure. Do you get charged half price for the pedicures? That would be fucked up if you didn’t. Do you think they’d charge me full price if I went in for a pedicure with you?
Anyway, I really want to give you your prosthetic leg back because I imagine that you’re hopping around, or worse, forced to wear a makeshift papier-mâché leg, or worse, forced to wear a thick tree limb like a pirate. Hopefully we can meet for lunch sometime and I can give you your leg back. Oh, and please only respond if you’re attractive. You see, there’s this fantasy I have, like a modern-day Cinderella, where I finally meet the owner of the leg and he turns out to be a charming prince. Well… maybe not a prince. I want you to be a sexy cowboy war hero who has had one of his legs and both of his testicles blown off in a grenade explosion in Afghanistan. It would be really romantic for you to sweep me off my feet in some cafe downtown. And then we’d both fall over because your makeshift tree leg wouldn’t be able to support both of us. We’d share a laugh. I’d kiss you on the cheek and then reattach your professionally made prosthetic leg for you. Based on how breathtaking your prosthetic leg is, I can only imagine that you’re incredibly handsome. I would have taken a picture of the leg, only for the pleasure of readers paging through, but I don’t have a digital camera. I did the best I could sketching it. Please know that is now way as amazing as the real thing!
-Candy”
IF IT’S NOT OBVIOUS, THESE ARE NOT MY STORIES OR EXPERIENCES. THEY ARE RANDOM CRAIGSLIST POSTS THAT INSPIRED AN ART POP-UP GALLERY. I’M SORRY IF THE CONTENT OR LANGUAGE OFFENDS YOU.
There’s not much to the story behind the print that I bought, but the romantic in me wanted it!
“I saw you pretend to read. Let’s pretend to read together sometime ;-)”
All images found here! And the organizers are a great group called Beehive Society. Their previous pop-up art show was Parks and Rec themed! I’m jealous I missed it.
s o , a n y w a y s 