“You Peed on Me”

A couple weekends ago I went to an art pop-up gallery thing in the Mission with the theme “Missed Connections.” You know that section of Craigslist that says missed connections? It ranges from cute to creepy to NSFW. It’s like if you have a connection with someone on the bus, but don’t catch their name or contact info and wanna meet up again and then post on Craigslist.

So this art gallery was inspired by Missed Connections posts. Here are my favorites. Excuse the lousy photography, I was in a hurry and it was crowded, haha. The romantic in me impulsively bought a print that I’ll show here!

“We kissed at midnight, then you ran away You- 5’8 scruffy, glasses, wearing a blue hoodie outside the Vid and I asked you for a lighter. You lit my cigarette and we talked about our wishes for the new year. We heard the countdown starting and decided to stay outside. I started to cry and you kissed me, and then we started to make out. After a minute I felt something warm and realized that you pissed yourself. I pushed you away and that’s when you ran but I wish you had stayed. You peed on me but it’s OK! I just want to know who you are! Please reply and when you do tell me why I started crying so I know it’s you–if you remember.”

MAN, WHAT A STORY. 

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Excuse this long and very descriptive and imaginative Missed Connection blurb…

“Did you leave a prosthetic leg on the bus this morning? Portland. I found a prosthetic leg wearing a Lucchese brand cowboy boot on the bus this morning. I’m not sure what brand the leg, but it’s only the shin and foot portion and it’s not mechanical looking. Rather, it looks semi-real–almost like it could be from a giant plastic doll or something. I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and tried the boot on. Magnificent! At first I wondered why a prosthetic leg user would have purchased such a comfy boot. Then I figured that you probably have another leg and foot that actually worked they probably really appreciate the cushion and arch support provided by the Lucchese boots. I really hope I can meet you and ask you more about your conditions. I wonder what Koreans would say about you if you went in for a pedicure. Do you get charged half price for the pedicures? That would be fucked up if you didn’t. Do you think they’d charge me full price if I went in for a pedicure with you?

Anyway, I really want to give you your prosthetic leg back because I imagine that you’re hopping around, or worse, forced to wear a makeshift papier-mâché leg, or worse, forced to wear a thick tree limb like a pirate. Hopefully we can meet for lunch sometime and I can give you your leg back. Oh, and please only respond if you’re attractive. You see, there’s this fantasy I have, like a modern-day Cinderella, where I finally meet the owner of the leg and he turns out to be a charming prince. Well… maybe not a prince. I want you to be a sexy cowboy war hero who has had one of his legs and both of his testicles blown off in a grenade explosion in Afghanistan. It would be really romantic for you to sweep me off my feet in some cafe downtown. And then we’d both fall over because your makeshift tree leg wouldn’t be able to support both of us. We’d share a laugh. I’d kiss you on the cheek and then reattach your professionally made prosthetic leg for you. Based on how breathtaking your prosthetic leg is, I can only imagine that you’re incredibly handsome. I would have taken a picture of the leg, only for the pleasure of readers paging through, but I don’t have a digital camera. I did the best I could sketching it. Please know that is now way as amazing as the real thing!

-Candy”

IF IT’S NOT OBVIOUS, THESE ARE NOT MY STORIES OR EXPERIENCES. THEY ARE RANDOM CRAIGSLIST POSTS THAT INSPIRED AN ART POP-UP GALLERY. I’M SORRY IF THE CONTENT OR LANGUAGE OFFENDS YOU. 

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There’s not much to the story behind the print that I bought, but the romantic in me wanted it! 

“I saw you pretend to read. Let’s pretend to read together sometime ;-)” 

 

All images found here! And the organizers are a great group called Beehive Society. Their previous pop-up art show was Parks and Rec themed! I’m jealous I missed it.

 

 

Weeknd

FLOWER PIANO

Most of my weekends are really not worth talking about because they consist of laying in bed and netflixing and eating amazing Snyder’s Honey Mustard Pretzel Pieces and whatever else I can scavenge in my pantry but I’m proud to say I broke my lazy habit and actually did cool stuff the past weekend!

It was a rare beautiful weekend in San Francisco and I decided to check out the Botanical Gardens. I’ve been there once and to be honest there’s really nothing special about it. It’s big and spread out and I have to walk a lot which I don’t really like to do because I’m lazy, I get lost in there (mainly because I refuse to look at a map because there’s something nice about just wandering.) But this time around, it’s the 75th Anniversary and they wanted to do something special, so they decided to put twelve pianos in the gardens for anyone passing through to play.

I decided I wanted to try and be artsy so I went to take some pictures. I wanted to take pictures of a piano by itself, with no player, but I should’ve known better. It was a nice day, the Botanical Gardens is in Golden Gate Park, and EVERYONE wanted to go to take pictures of the piano by itself (I eavesdropped so I knew my idea wasn’t unique). I walked through the park and the pianists were really good, but I was kinda bored and wanted to find the bamboo forest because I’m Asian and I like bamboo.

But I kind of got lost and then I heard a voice calling to me!! It wasn’t my name, but it was the Phantom. From the Phantom of the Opera, haha. I was marching through a meadow and….”The Phantoooooom of the Opera is theeeere, inside your miiiind…” boomed out of nowhere and I scurried through as his voice drew me in.

Don’t they make a lovely group?

That group only played songs from musicals, but suddenly I saw a bunch of people crowding around enjoying their voices. It was such a great idea to stick a piano in the middle of nowhere! Others were smiling big and snapping quick vids and photos. I stayed listening and maintained my distance, not wanting to intrude on their performance.

I also thoroughly enjoyed this group as well!

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A MORNING IN A GLASSBLOWING STUDIO

The next morning I trekked a little over an hour to a glassblowing studio in Hunter’s Point/Bayview. For those who are unfamiliar with the hour, it’s one of the bad neighborhoods in SF (like the Tenderloin). But I was very pleasantly surprised with where the studio was. It seems like Hunter’s Point is getting hip! Of course it depends on what side of the tracks you live on, I hear.

It was a class of five, two couples and me. So I would be third-wheeling either way. There were two instructors so we got plenty of individual attention. Those that know me know I need a lot of guidance and attention, especially how I get carried away and do my own thing…. which has its own place and time….

I was happy that it was a little less intimidating than I thought it would be. I saw the “hot lava” and all these tools and goggles and was a little nervous, but there was no need. It was one of most fun classes I have ever taken, mainly because with handblown glass pieces, I think they are all beautiful (unlike my lame pottery and sketching attempts) and perfect in their own way. Despite how aware I was of my noobie, worse-person-in-the-class status, I didn’t let that bother me. If I can do it, you can do it too!

Musicians to See Part II

The last post was musicians I have seen, this post will feature and remind me of SOME (only some, this is not by all means inclusive!!!!) artists I want to see and is in no particular order.

1. Sam Smith- who doesn’t wanna see this dreamy boy? Although every time he comes near me tickets are always sold out. He’s playing at Outside Lands this year along with Mumford and Sons and James Bay who will be next on my list, but OL tickets are sold out! I’m always late to buying things and I don’t wanna pay $200-$300 for a day ticket.

Anyways, Sam Smith is king. Everyone knows who he is I hope and he’s so fun to singalong too. You know how some artists you have to be “in the mood” for? Well I’m always in the mood for him.

2. James Bay- I heard this UK heartthrob on the radio and he reminds me of James Vincent Mcmorrow, also from the UK (sensing a pattern?). He’s catchy and I know like five of his songs by heart. He went to SF a couple of months before I knew who he was. Here I am, late again.

dem damn deep dimples tho

3. Mumford and Sons- also from the UK! I’m not sure if I really liked their old stuff, but their new stuff, like “Believe” and “Snake Eyes” and “The Wolf” are spectacular. I wish all their stuff sounded like that. But based on those songs I wanna see them live.

4. Imagine Dragons- I’m loving their new album. It sounds different from their last album, but I love it. I can still recognize the voice, but it’s a different style this time. “Shots” sounds way different than “Demons.” I’m not sure if people my age in the US like them or not, but Australians do! I met a bunch of Aussies over the winter and they love them, so I felt at home with them because I love them too. They old and new stuff is solid!

5. Empire of the Sun- I haven’t really kept up with them, but I dig their music and their costumes. Because that headdress is cool and they’re catchy. They’ll be in Berkeley in September!

it’s like a halloween themed concert!

6. Daft Punk- I don’t even know if they perform anymore. When was their last tour? 😦 Because everyone knows who they are, here’s a hip hop dance video that features all Daft Funk music. If this doesn’t make you wanna dance, I don’t know what will. Asians, yaaaas. I was so lucky to watch this performance in the third row 😉 I also have a thing for helmets.

7. Lindsey Stirling- Violin meets dancing meets electronic music. They’ll be in Berkeley in August!

8. Fitz and the Tantrums- they are so fun and I just wanna snap to them. They also played in OL2012, but I didn’t really know about them until later because I’m late to everything great…

Musicians to See Part I

Over the past couple of years I’ve been blessed to see several people in concert. Here are my favorites in no particular order:

1. Geographer- I don’t know which genre they are, but they’re a fun band. They are a local band which is great because their tickets are cheaper than others.

A couple of weeks ago I went to their free concert in the Mission. It was a beautiful and warm night. It was the during the same week as the LQBTQ Film Festival so the Mission and the Castro were buzzing. The doors opened at 7 so I began waiting at 6:45. The doors didn’t actually open until 7:30 and Geographer didn’t take the stage until 9:45. I was soon bummed especially because I tried to be all fancy and neglected to weak proper footwear. It was a disappointment until they came on and played their old music! Then they played their new music and I left early (mainly in pain. I don’t even know why. I wasn’t even wearing heels.)

But they’re one of my favorite people to see because their music is unique and I think they’re the first people I saw in concert. So the fact that they’re first makes me partial to them.

I was by myself the two times I saw him/them.

2. Wolfgang Gartner- saw this DJ twice! I saw him first at Outside Lands 2012 right before seeing Skrillex and I think I liked Wolfgang better. He was new to me, and I guess he’s still relatively new because no one I know really knows who he is. He was the only person I danced to during OL2012 which is saying a lot because I saw quite a few people. I saw him at OL2012 by myself and with a friend at the Warfield a year later.

3. Run River North: a friend recommended them to me and there was a time when I loved every song of their album. I think they’re from LA and are relatively unknown. Seeing them in Oakland was fun because I went with a big group of friends and friends of friends. And I had an umami burger. What made it better was my perfect choice in shoes! I don’t remember what I wore, but I proudly remember that my feet didn’t ache at all! And I saw them for $12 😀 And you can expect crisp vocals.

4. James Vincent Mcmorrow: My darling boy! His tickets are getting pricy though. He’s from the UK and he must love SF because he’s come loads of times in the past couple of years. I’m not really sure what to say about him, but hopefully you’ve hears of him! People may complain he’s whiney and doesn’t have much *variety,* but I think he just has a specific style that he doesn’t stray away from.

I went to see him with a friend and he’s not the most “fun” performer; he doesn’t run around the stage or dance around, he just stays put, but he’s one of the best out there. His voice gives me da chilllllllz

5. The Family Crest- another local SF band, represent!! I saw them for $12 😀 There’s just something about the lead singer’s voice that I can’t put my finger on, maybe it’s the way he speaks or how his teeth are placed? underbite/overbite? Or maybe I’m just hearing things. But what I’m hearing is great. It’s kind of like a mini orchestra because the band has six instruments and they’re fun! I was in the front when I saw them and they have so much energy and they really put their body in it. I like getting all up in their face because I get to see their emotions and sweat. I saw them by myself but I didn’t mind at all.

6. Of Monsters and Men: They are solid performers from Iceland. You don’t have to worry about them not sounding good live. I saw them at OL2012 as well and it was just a great experience to be in a crowd that loves them and to just know every song and singalong. I went by myself but it didn’t take away from my experience. You should know who they are, but if you don’t… I love their Icelandic accent and I may see them in Berkeley in October!

7. Magic Man- I saw this with some friends and friends of friends at the Independent and it was a good performance. It was a sold-out event but the venue was small and intimate. The lead singer looks like the guy in All-American Rejects and I really like two of their songs. I LOVE HOW HE’S SO SQUIRMY AND HOLDS THE MIKE SO CLOSE TO HIS MOUTH LIVE